Wedding format

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We have thought long and hard about the form we wanted out wedding to take, and why we wanted to have a wedding, with all of you there, at all. We feel that the wedding celebration is not about the legalities or the promises we will make (that can be done just as effectively at the registry office without our friends and family) but it is about the celebration of our relationship with those we hold dear. So we will not be having a traditional wedding of the kind that most of you will be used to. We have decided instead to have a celebration that fully involves our community. We will not be having a scripted ceremony with readings, followed by a reception with a set order of speeches and toasts to bore you. We want an informal, from the heart, inclusive and raucous, tear jerker of a picnic instead.

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Therefore, we would like to ask everyone attending to consider the question "Why are you here?" and bring something to read/say or perform that expresses why you have chosen to come to our wedding and celebrate with us. Don't get too stressed about this - you can bring a reading or poem, perform a piece of music, write a message, or wing it. What we're imagining is the sort of thing most Kiwis are used to seeing at funerals.

If you are not comfortable with public speaking, or you are unable to attend, please consider bringing, prerecording, or sending something that can be read out on your behalf, or played on the day. We also plan to have a video booth for people to record private messages if they prefer. We won't be forcing anyone to speak, but please consider sharing the love in some way, as this is why we have asked you to join us.